I find it hilarious that my nightmares are not always scary. In fact, I tend to find them as entertaining as sitting down and watching a horror flick…and sometimes that how my mind perceives them, as horror flicks.
A dream I had back in February of 2005 started out as me viewing a scary movie almost as if my nose were pressed up against the television screen. This gory picture had a small town under attack from an unknown madman who would find different inventive ways to kill off townspeople. Only a few still remain in my memory: a businessman having his head shrunken and stitched up and that tall kid from “Road Trip” being dropping into a boiling pit of tar.
As a group of adults were staring in horror at the poor dork from “Road Trip,” I found myself in the movie. Surrounded by a bunch of town people with less luck than me and the guy who plays Sayid on “Lost,” I thought to myself, This really can’t be good.
I woke up at this point, a little worried about my fate, but soon settled right back into the dream.
A few more people died, but I really cannot remember how. Then I decided to take a shower. Stepping out of the shower to begin my morning routine, I began worrying about whether or not this would be the moment that psycho madman would decide to come after me. Just in case, I armed myself with the only weapon my bathroom offered…my plunger. (Let’s face it, my Intuition razor just isn’t going to cut much more than my knees.)
I looked out the second-story bathroom window, wondering if that would be the way he entered. Then from behind me, the bathroom door cracked from the blow of an axe.
Psycho madman was right there busting through the door. While I could risk breaking a leg before dying, I decided against jumping out the window. Instead, I grabbed the plunger by the rubber end (don’t worry, I’ll definately wash those hands) and waited until the axe struck one more time. As he was occupied trying to wedge the head loose, I jabbed the stick end of the plunger directly into his eye.
With psycho madman blinded, I knew I only had a few seconds to escape. I pushed past him headed toward freedom. Unlike the idiots in scary movies, I knew to run outside. I hit the streets screaming at the world that psycho madman was after me. I found my friends and sought safety.
Unfortunately, that’s when the alarm started going off. I have no idea how the dream ended, but I think it might be a fun one to write down and try to finish, maybe answer a few questions like: Who is the blinded psycho madman? Can you really put out someone’s eye with a plunger? What if Mindy had decided to use the Intuition razor as a weapon? Stay tuned to find out!