If you know anything about me, you know that I am a bit accident prone. I mean, I have my own day of the week – Minday – to refer to those Murphy’s Law kind of days. And boy oh boy did I have one heck of a Minday last week. And because I know you all have a mad case of Schadenfreude, I’m going to share with you my wee tale of woe.
Once upon a time (also known as last Wednesday), I took the day off work with the goal of finishing my dissertation. I just needed to finish writing my reflection and then format the document, and I would be D.U.N. done. It was an easy goal, and one thing that would make the work all the sweeter would be the nice new pair of AirPods I had just bought during Amazon Prime Days.
Let me just say that, being the Apple nerd I am, the AirPods were a thing of beauty. And I got them for a steal. As soon as they were delivered, I unboxed them and immediately set about streaming music through them. What better way to pass the time as I wrote.
Of course, writing wasn’t my only goal for my day off. I had also promised Jeff I would bake a pie. We had some apples that were nearing the end of their life cycle, and I didn’t want them to go to waste. So, at some point during the afternoon, I’d take a break from writing to bake the pie, then get right back to work.
I wrote my heart out for a good hour, rocking out to some music as i worked. Finally, it was break time. I couldn’t help but be excited. Due to my doctoral program, I haven’t done as much cooking and baking as I would like, so here was my chance to relieve a little stress as I neared the end of all of this hard work.
Leaving my headphones in, I headed to the kitchen and set to work, peeling and slicing the apples. I danced a bit as I added brown sugar and lemon and spices to the chopped apples. When it came time to focus on the crust, I sang along as I worked. I was clearly in my own little world.
Which is why I didn’t expect anything to go wrong.
Which is why I never expect anything to go wrong.
The apples were wrapped, all snug in the crusts, while visions of desserts to come danced in my head. I opened the 375-degree oven and leaned down to slide the pie in. Before I could straighten up, it happened.
I’m sure you know what happened. I don’t need to tell you that the right AirPod popped out of my ear and fell directly into the oven. I don’t need to tell you that I ripped off the other one and threw it to safety, while yelling, “OH NO!” repeatedly and grabbing a set of tongs. I don’t even need to tell you that I used those tongs to try my damndest to grab the AirPod out of the far corner of the oven where it came to rest. I don’t need to tell you these things because you knew exactly what kind of a day I was having. A Minday.
Hearing my cries, Jeff came running into the kitchen, asking what was wrong. He found me halfway in the oven, burning myself on the shelves as I grabbed for the AirPod with my tongs. I managed to move the AirPod to the front of the oven before Jeff took the tongs from my burnt hand and grabbed the earbud for me with no problem.
I appreciated Jeff’s help, because by the time he grabbed the AirPod, I had a whopping 6 first- and second-degree burns on my hand and forearm. I wasn’t about to let $115 melt down in my oven.
The AirPod? A little melted, but it works just fine.
But seriously, this is why I can’t have nice things.
3 thoughts on “This Is Why I Can’t Have Nice Things”
You never mentioned this during critique! How are your hands???
They’re fine for the most part. The worst of the burns were on my forearms.
The skin is so sensitive there. Ouch!!!