This Is Why I Can’t Have Nice Things

If you know anything about me, you know that I am a bit accident prone. I mean, I have my own day of the week – Minday – to refer to those Murphy’s Law kind of days. And boy oh boy did I have one heck of a Minday last week. And because I know you all have a mad case of Schadenfreude, I’m going to share with you my wee tale of woe.

Once upon a time (also known as last Wednesday), I took the day off work with the goal of finishing my dissertation. I just needed to finish writing my reflection and then format the document, and I would be D.U.N. done. It was an easy goal, and one thing that would make the work all the sweeter would be the nice new pair of AirPods I had just bought during Amazon Prime Days.

Let me just say that, being the Apple nerd I am, the AirPods were a thing of beauty. And I got them for a steal. As soon as they were delivered, I unboxed them and immediately set about streaming music through them. What better way to pass the time as I wrote.

Of course, writing wasn’t my only goal for my day off. I had also promised Jeff I would bake a pie. We had some apples that were nearing the end of their life cycle, and I didn’t want them to go to waste. So, at some point during the afternoon, I’d take a break from writing to bake the pie, then get right back to work.

I wrote my heart out for a good hour, rocking out to some music as i worked. Finally, it was break time. I couldn’t help but be excited. Due to my doctoral program, I haven’t done as much cooking and baking as I would like, so here was my chance to relieve a little stress as I neared the end of all of this hard work.

Leaving my headphones in, I headed to the kitchen and set to work, peeling and slicing the apples. I danced a bit as I added brown sugar and lemon and spices to the chopped apples. When it came time to focus on the crust, I sang along as I worked. I was clearly in my own little world.

Which is why I didn’t expect anything to go wrong.

Which is why I never expect anything to go wrong.

The apples were wrapped, all snug in the crusts, while visions of desserts to come danced in my head. I opened the 375-degree oven and leaned down to slide the pie in. Before I could straighten up, it happened.

I’m sure you know what happened. I don’t need to tell you that the right AirPod popped out of my ear and fell directly into the oven. I don’t need to tell you that I ripped off the other one and threw it to safety, while yelling, “OH NO!” repeatedly and grabbing a set of tongs. I don’t even need to tell you that I used those tongs to try my damndest to grab the AirPod out of the far corner of the oven where it came to rest. I don’t need to tell you these things because you knew exactly what kind of a day I was having. A Minday.

Hearing my cries, Jeff came running into the kitchen, asking what was wrong. He found me halfway in the oven, burning myself on the shelves as I grabbed for the AirPod with my tongs. I managed to move the AirPod to the front of the oven before Jeff took the tongs from my burnt hand and grabbed the earbud for me with no problem. 

I appreciated Jeff’s help, because by the time he grabbed the AirPod, I had a whopping 6 first- and second-degree burns on my hand and forearm. I wasn’t about to let $115 melt down in my oven.

The AirPod? A little melted, but it works just fine. 

But seriously, this is why I can’t have nice things.